a map in my own mind

I really hate the whole networking thing. I hate going to events and shoving cards into as many hands as I can. (Although, I do kinda like taking the cards home and writing postcards to the people I met. But more and more people don’t bother to include street addresses. So that just frustrates me.)

In the fall I took the assessment associated with the book Now, Discover Your Strengths.

One of my top five strengths is “Relator.” That means I prefer spending time with people I already know. I’m not shy. I don’t dislike meeting new people. But mostly I prefer to build relationships. I want to understand the dreams and goals, fears and pleasures of the people I know.

To me, relationships only have value if they’re genuine. I have a very low tolerance for political games and BS. I know there is a risk to say this out loud. (And perhaps more of one to publish it on the web where it will live forever. There goes my shot at a supreme court judgeship!)

I know there is a risk involved in starting my kind of relationships with people. At the outset, I can never know if the other person is on the same page as me. Maybe I’ll put a lot into the relationship and find out that the other person just wants something from me – not necessarily a sharing thing. But when the connection works, it’s a beautiful thing.

Before I knew about this relator part of me, I thought I was some how flawed because I had such a hard time making myself attend more networking events and shoving more cards into more people’s hands. But now I’m thinking, as a relator, I have to find other ways to connect to new people.

I stumbled on this post in the blog, Addicted to the Hustle, written by Fredd Kambo

I don’t bother “networking” anymore, instead, I try to build relationships with people I find interesting, and who I think are doing interesting things. And I make it my mission to help them in any way I can to achieve their mission. I find this much more satisfying, much more honorable, and much more fun. And this is the cool thing about people….When you help them out in this way, they help you out. Not because it’s a tit for tat deal, but because both parties are engaged in a mutually beneficial relationship that extends beyond the next favor.

Hey, I was a math major, I can put two and two together
I add Fredd’s idea to what I’ve learned from Ellen Bristol at the Bristol Strategy Group about Selling the Smart Way® and finding my “ideal client.” And I’m thinking I just have to get more clear about just who are the people I really want to work with. When I know who they are it should be easier to find them. Personally, I’d rather talk to four people and get three new clients than groaning under the prospect of having to talk to 100 people in order to find 5. (Besides, I have ADHD. I’ll forget the plan way before I hit 32 contacts)

So maybe I’ll just put it out here:

• I love to work with people who own their own companies. There is so much happening so quickly when you’re the top dog. If you’re not careful you’ll miss enjoying the ride on that pony you started down the mountain.
• I “get” IT types and engineers and they fascinate me. Maybe because they are so much about “fixing things” and that feels like a commitment to progress. I love to work with other coaches who get the process.
• I want people who will commit to at least three months of work and then keep going. I don’t really care what the schedule of appointments is, but I love it when it’s consistent. It’s really a rush for me when clients come to the call having thought about what they said the last time they’d do by this time, and then have made some progress on that… even just a little.
• I don’t like to feel like I’m taking my client’s last dollar. I don’t like working with people who always seem to know whose fault it is that their in a certain position, who never take responsibility for their own situation. (You might need therapy) I don’t write resumes, but I will look at them and give you my opinion of you from the page. I’m not a professional organizer. I know some I can recommend. I can talk to you about how your stuff is working for, or against you, and help you decide what you really want to do with the stuff. But I’m probably not going to sit on the floor with you while you go through boxes of files.
• But most of all: I love people with too many ideas — people who can always think of another way to do something are never boring. Sometimes I have to hang on tight to the string of their kite as they soar to new heights and see new sights. (OK, maybe that was a really lame attempt at literary something or other, but you get the idea.) I love to help work out the details of that plan when they come back down to earth.

Call me if you’re ready for a coach. Let’s see if I’m the one for you right now.

Call me if you were a client and are ready, or thinking about coming back. I love connecting with old friends.

Call me if you want more information. I’m happy to be a resource.
And if you’re working on some marketing plan of your own, just who are your ideal clients? Can you name them? Can you figure out how to get more? Want some help?

Call me or send me a note.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Kerch

In the December 31 column “On Blogs” by Troy McFCullough in the
Baltimore Sun “‘07 may be year bloggers break free of all the hype.”

Daryl Plummer, chief Gartner fellow, is quoted by the Associated Press about blogs:

“A lot of people have been in and out of this thing. …Everyone thinks they have something to say, until they’re put on stage and asked to say it.”

Then this morning, according to ResourceShelf, which is “.. where dedicated librarians and researchers share the results of their directed (and occasionally quirky) web searches for resources and information.” (If you aren’t actually a librarian, you might have NOT idea about the kinds of quirky things these pros can dig up. How about the “Atlas to Plucked Instruments”? Wait, I digress…)

The ResourceShelf reported this morning:

More than half (55%) of all online American youths ages 12-17 use online social networking sites, according to a new national survey of teenagers conducted by the Pew Internet & American Life Project.

Past President Bill Clinton may made the most famous denial of his association with marijuana in March of ‘92 when he said simply, “I didn’t inhale.” But he certainly was neither the first nor the last to get poked because may — or may not — have dabbled in drugs. The more accessible the forbidden is the more people will try them. (n.b. I am NOT encouraging or condoning drug use or experimentation. I am mother, for cryin’ out loud!)

Today, checking on a candidate’s past drug use is as common as checking on the attitudes and dalliances of his youth. It’s part of the business of politics. Tomorrow, it will be checking them on the internet or in the archives of ancient online BulletinBoards, UserGroups, MySpace,YouTube and other such on line social networks.

In my opinion parents today go way over board by teaching children to fear strangers. We all need healthy respect for that with which we have no experience. We don’t (please tell me you don’t) send money to Nigerians who send emails offering us millions of dollars for our help. We don’t eat food we find in the street.

We can be polite if someone asks for directions. But we don’t get in the car with them to take them to their destination. Respect vs. fear.

I am not making a statement about drugs here. Don’t suppose I am. Don’t infer it. I am not talking about drugs.

However, I am talking respect.

We must not fear MySpace or the internet. We must be careful; we must it wisely. Because in the end, the ether is absolutely NOT PRIVATE. And your mother WILL find out what you did here.

Happy New Year.
Watch what you say!

Kerch