I wish I were cool. Really I do.

No need for my parents to worry. My head was “screwed on right.” That’s what my parents friends told them. I was definitely not cool, though.

I wasn’t a real nerd. But I did belong to the library club (I loved fixing the broken books but not shelving them). I also belonged to the radio club. I had a novice ham radio license and everything. WN3OHB I always figured the OHB stood for Old HamBurger. I never got far enough along to be allowed to use voice transmission. I just joined the radio club because what ever “those guys” were doing, I could do it too. (Hey, at least they weren’t jumping off of bridges! I don’t think we had bungee jumping when I was in high school.)

I read in early June about the Webby Awards, given for innovations and excellence on the web. Awarded by The International Academy of Digital Arts & Sciences this is the leading international honor for Web sites and the innovators behind them.

What fascinated me in the original buzz I heard about the award was that the acceptance speeches could be only five words long.

FIVE, no more, no less.

There, that coulda been my whole speech!

I’ve been thinking about short stories, short speeches, Short People (I used to sing that Randy Newman song to my kids when they were babies.. “Short people got no body” Perhaps I’m a little warped, but still not cool.)

But this morning I decided check out some of the award winners. and their websites based entirely on some entirely unknown quality that I found in their award speech.

In the Lifestyle category, FoodNetwork.com won a People’s Voice award:

Thanks for always being hungry.

That seemed appropriate and made me smile.

But in the Marketplace category Retail: THE BOOK OF COOL also won a People’s Voice award with this little speech:

Even monkeys fall from trees.

I gotta tell you, I have this thing about monkeys. Maybe I got it from my son who has a thing about monkeys. What ever the reason, I checked out the website.

I found the link to The Book of Cool site in the June 13, 2206 Wired story about the awards. I found such a cool flash intro that I watched it all the way through. Generally I hate those pages that make we wait until I can find the information that I want. I skip them when ever possible. But immediately I got sucked in. Oh yea, I’ll buy this stuff. I want to be cool. Not just live near “cool.”

I’m hoping that maybe, with help from the book and 9 hours of DVD video they’re selling, just maybe I can learn to be cool.

On the otherhand, perhaps:

I make my own cool.

What would you say if you only had five words? What affirmation would you choose? What does that say about you?

Post a comment. Share your five words.

I can’t wait to read what you write.